Tom continues to flaneur his way around the avenues of steel and neon in the city that never sleeps, to bring us more poems that are gentle, insightful and humane. He's tapping into some memories because the pandemic has made us all think back, reflect and reconsider. 8 fabulous poems recently published by The Fictional Cafe (check them out at www.fictionalcafe.com) and 6 more we are proud to premier for you. 

Incompletist

It's all a bit sketchy don't you know what with the RMS and all. 

Formal education and I didn't work out but I was on my way across the country to fulfill my own peculiar

and

particular manifest destiny which at the time (at the time)? was a semi - conscious state of befuddled uncertainty laced with a lack of pragmatics that was nothing short of utter ineptitude. 

(Oh essential humor I laugh to myself now at the notion of then going clear across the country to maintain my standards and my continuous quest for success in failure).

We arrived at the train station and said our goodbyes. 

After you left there was a welling and a filling and at the same time a depletion of air. 

I rushed outside after a constricted couple of minutes to tell you something but you were gone.

I was consistently lacking in effort

and all done and said

pretty consistent in afraid.

I do at times wish that I had more of more

than all this less though

but the wish won't make it so

At a certain point, I guess, we got

uncomfortable around each other. 

I'm glad, though, that I said what I said before you went. 

I will add now that I am sorry I made you nervous.

As I think back right at the now of this

now

I was at a loss

then

and still am

so I'll leave it

at that. 

it can sometimes does

I am looking out the window with my classical on as I ponder the rigmaroles of existence discussing such with the most fascinating person I know.  

Every time I feel I've made a valid point or observation during my ongoing convo I like to whip off my glasses to add further emphasis while highlighting a point that's been made salient and to add further punctuating resonance landing on a note redolent of conversational flair.  For example as I gaze out I reflect to myself on the virtues of eschewing the virtual for the sake and embracement of tactility and doing the sharp clean whip on eschew.  

When I revelate that the only thing remaining is to become a saint there is a slow whipping on become. Like that.

Happenstance can work well and good sometimes.

Oh sweet exquisiteness, as I lovingly prepare an afternoon aperitif and just now at the ready of the first gentle sip (lord how I love my ceremonies!) the radio crows out "heroes" - Ah yes, aglow and a flow, I duly proceed to an illuminated bask.

The heart of the matter resides in the entire lonesomeness of the venture, and so dream, a much needed break from the prosaic, makes fantasy a much vaunted ally.

So it goes, the garden of eden and myself with menagerie of profound friendships and equipped with a fleet of canines are baying in unison at the rising moon each eve over the waters. 

I think of a bovine at dusk by the side of a country road, looming and ruminating.  Life can be so wonderful!  And indeed the cat never ceases to contribute the phenomenal and to provide blessed insight into all things seriously absurd, a well rounded tutorial in surrealist burlesque,

It welcomes and relieves one from the strangulating  confinements of love and isolation, providing a delightfully futile longing for unencumbered innocence and a bit of air.

So it goes, the gallivanting ambition is to string two good days in a row together.

But for now, synchronicity dovetails to a tee and a thickening

of well and good in the here/now of slow nothing. 

Read

Read

Trees (solidity presenting)

Fluttering leaves

The light kissed plants merry with the wind free and clean

The rain stream glimmering to

a speckled burst of sun

Gentle easy rolling chuckle of

The sighing creek

Uncluttered sea green

Ah read the ripple (and if you hanker success that day, smell the dirt)

Read

The people prevarications (attendant chicanery) digitally respirating goofed on technology / hope's dilution on endless extension

Read

The blank vista

Cloud proclamations and

Twilights gold riddled clarification

That shall permit languishing

Books and songs have been my

Life's blood

But then it is just schmo/mooks mouthing off

Read

The perfect view point

To watch the world go

Tits up

Soak up your/ time / space /

Up to

This eventual farewell / for now /

Read 

Newsie

He would come to the door ever so slow

Deep into dotage and well past prime time

I waited amid discomforts shade

Eager to collect and be on...

I liked the design of my route

All customers were conveniently located next to each except

for one lone house down the street a ways which was a drag on Sunday morning because that was the day I had to stuff all the papers and stack them in a grocery cart instead of the rest of the week's thin editions which were easily fitted into my portable sack and slung over my shoulder for an easy afternoon delivery stroll around the block (Saturday mornings I trucked out my bike and then I would treat myself to breakfast)-

Sweet Bitch Memory

/man oh man...

the frowzy chippy who blurted on

about the doings and going ons of the scotland yard

(what she meant specifically I could never ascertain)

the one who insisted I give change to the tune of a dime

on her 90 cent weekly tab

(my young self indignant at this outlandish chintz)

I henceforth always made an elaborate spectacle of fishing and searching all about myself for her "dime" whenever I collected from her (but always coughing it up eventually - I was a good kid) -

it was the year 1977 (we were there)

I had heard thru the neighborhood vine about her demise and

went up to the white house to collect

He trudged to the door and we made our transaction

both of us looking down until the close of business then

He said to me looking up "my wife died"  and I responded "I know"

He slowly lowers his head backing away just as slowly shutting the door

I do my own slow lower into the realization (vague) that happens (if you're lucky?) that a goodly bit of life consists of pain and fear -- 

so much goddam sadness ...

I stood a moment - left and was

glad to go on and get away

Lo here in the current deep up to the neck of the boo radley years

paid up in full

my bridge burner dues

losing bits piecemeal

/ it's not so vague

I have often sensed the imperative of getting away ... kinda sorta before the reality boom lowers -

There/then

and now

I didn't make it

Another Day in Armageddon

The potential is there (here)

To be Infected by

all of it

But Hey!  I'm not sick (the world is)

Yes it's so

(torture and hell resides on two legs)

Realization dawns full on and tardy

Cutting clarity sharp

Works torpor

and necessities grind slapped still 

(its bigger'n money!)

Mine is to

Maintain

I never could drive proper

due to an excess in shy

Beyond me (way over)

it is

the modernage train 

passing 

Goodbye and likewise riddance 

Right! 

Seize the day (your sick after all)

Books can matter deep

Computers stunt likewise

Good luck dink

My own

I will relish

The ring of brass repose

The opportunity

(Grand)

To call in sick to life

as you've prescribed it

Your relish of standing in line

Uniforms conforming 

I would prefer not to don the mask

(while we're at it why'd you gobble up all the cans of tuna?)

Ashes of surrender

You is yours mine's mine

Fiduciary sanctuary

Good luck in prison

The hard work of hope reaps dirt well you know (why don't you care?) everyone trying to inhale and exhale

and I can't help rubbing my eyes they hurt when I look at you

(But It's tuneful when the brook babbles)

and so

Maintain

This lofty status

and this gift of repose

Splendiferous indifference

the exhilaration of chopping air

Beautiful futility

(Grand)

A permanent

Hiatus

Saturday’s Child

Given the modern malaise’s dictum that to exist is to be stuffed stuff it is reasonable to desire retreats’ entreaties

Aside  from the more obvious artificial means there can be perhaps a more elevated or at least organic avenue to meander down .  I’m hungry.

Thus I crack open some pages..

oh hell.  It’s been said  that he wasn't steeped in culture and yet his stuff is upper case all the way, encoded in delicate mists of shroud. 

This technical mumbo minutiae numbo stagnates - give me the meat that fills. 

I gasp along hoping against hope for a gut issuance.  Oh my babies cmon, crap the pome that needs the exorcise and that

resonates the empty room... Forget it.   Ah well, ‘The Joker’ comes on the airwaves and sometimes classic rock steps up.  Cat splayed royally recumbent in the corner always giving out

sound concision melodiously relates that effort is a drain/drag but shoot some days I’m a gamer so I per sue:

Fuck it fuck life fuck death fuck school fuck parents fuck families fuck friends and enemies fuck jobs (god knows) and fuck god (the people’s not the mystery - Ahh the catholic ingrained  -  I hope god’s gotta sense of humor) but Hey!  Fuck hope!

Fuck art fuck professional expertise (self-evident in this presentation) fuck fuck but not nature and not animals hey ya gotta have sentiment no? Fuck expectations fuck demands fuck pressures life goes on death goes on longer

Right fucker?

Fuck

Stuffs got us by the stuff and all this speed has left life in the lurch taking it (any of it) serious is seriously discouraged

Pardon my distraction

My immersion in desolation

Tit-fer-Tat - happiness for holiness

At the current there is not much else known

Diligence comes due

The strive to surrender 

A Good Clean Break

realities routine's are a stone crusher

all of it

the jobs

the relationships

the striving

the failing

the achievements (I'm guessing)

and more begets more

all the do's of you hafeta do

you can get tired beyond exhaustion

tired of your self

your thoughts (if you are inclined to that sort of thing)

and relief is much needed

some quiet 

a long walk 

to 

the middle of

nowhere

some surcease

the compassion of a dog's eyes 

It’s the best

he was pouring at the happening and usually there is a fair amount of disdain for the enthusiasts 

who like to sidle up to sample the snacks, libations and what have you goodies.

he was a wisp of fair blond - a hippy kid.

he asked me if I would like him to crack my can of brew

I told him that this was not necessary

I looked at some stuff and listened to some other stuff

trying to maintain a bit of elbow room 

while the crowds swirled and yammered

 biding some time before refill and then I went back for another and he 

cracked this one for me and said "cheers"

I drank it down and went for a walk down the street

I did not want to appear to be too gluttonous so I gave it some minutes

when I resurfaced in the crowded room and foraged thru the groups back to my man

he smiled and said "I grabbed this one at the bottom so that its chilled and now it needs to be shotgunned".

I laughed and retorted with double thumbs up

Impressed that this cat accurately assessed my quench and provided a 

responsive and congenial atmosphere in one that can be rather unpleasant and clannish

my man had it

and I salute him for it

the damn hippy dippy 

had it

kindness 

how bout knowing naught

A not so gentle kick in the patooty and sent on

I would prefer to need no recourse to your legal so called expertise and that goes for your medical too I repeat

I'd prefer to do without

Perhaps if you had an inkling of Nietzsche or enjoyed a repast with Schopenhauer but no

It's always no

Perhaps if you had spent some time listening to Debussy or the Saints but again nay

For you it's this monotonous focus on that one area that you have ever so diligently given all your time

and effort schooling on so that you can have the privilege and pleasure

of telling others what's what.

What about doing some leisure spending time among the hills the rocks by and by while a glittering river rolls by

What about it sir? What about it madam?

Have you lingered much? Splayed? Let the time envelope you? Before it's inevitable dispatch?

Sir? Madam?

And your listening resolutely lacks unless a colleague of yours speaks

Howsa bout perchance a listen to Lord Buckley? A languor by a Monticelli bouquet?

Remember laughter Remember humor before all this jive irony?

No sir. No madam.

Your arrogance is preposterous

I shall go to get my fill where the going is going in a matter manner befitting of ease and flow

Where the dream arrives at a (for now) full still...

A Fool and the Wise One in the House

It was the summer of love ( not theirs - Ours)

a day at the shore

and on the return

hit a diner for some

summertime grub

As we waited in line for a table

she stood out in the crowd

A stout figure, she was bespectacled

with head radiating blue and a

matriarchal aura that filled the surround.

since this was the aforementioned summer of love

I was likewise filled with that particular glorious and wondrous thing

and was also ready for food ( Always)

I felt good!

her presence galvanized and since I hew to a stock in trade of silly I seized the opportunity for a moment of tasteful yet unbridled foolishness

- the jester was present and her matronly monumentality was a call to cavort in the court!

I stood outside her periphery and began posturing, mimicking and doing antic pantomime

steadfast blithe and patient she was

for some time

then

with not even a glance in my direction she looked directly

at the direct source

of my summer joyous

and said "I know what he's doing, I have 6 boys. They never grow up".

ah ... the BA Dum Bump!

Asininity effectively routed by this

( GRAND) ma - maestro of the matriarch!

She was minted with salty earth

and all clowning aside

I seriously wish

there were more

of her

but now and here, in the present autumnal and approaching wintry twilight of our Ours

and all clowning aside

I am surely

and most seriously

gratified

that I came across

the

one

of

you

my love

Master

A step outside into the new morn

is immediately met by the old

hub and bub of an air full of cellular contraption babble imbued with the shrill and inconsequential

Cars whizz by handled by louts with a preposterously overblown sense of themselves inhabited by a conjoinment

of emaciated sense of decorum and bloated commitment to stupidity and who sadly feel that to drive is to lean on the horn.

I step on in swift anticipation of my park sanctuary a few blocks due west.

On arrival there is one of the elevated finely sculpted steel receptacles housing potted bouquet bushes that are currently filled with petals of yellow

that ring wrought iron around the fountain.

I am duly summoned to my morning ablution which consists of a face full of plunge into its thicket and

a deep inhalation of glorious morning proper sustenance.

This day tho I had to approach with some trepidation as there was a squirrel on one side of the structure that had its own ritual to tend to - knowing their propensity for brazenness I approached with caution and

making sure there was a suitable bit of distance I take my ceremonial dip.

When I raised my head from the sweet intoxication the squirrel does so simultaneously and the critters face was a bearded coat of fresh soil

right then staring direct- a sod pasted kisser - the air crackles with a flash of frivolous whilst enhancing and abetting a most enjoyable slow exhalation.

My dear friend you have provided a most blessed respite from the hum and drum and

so many many thanks for this divine bit of illuminating simplicity in action and clarification of levity’s mandate.

Good morning

kid hope

The children are being led like cattle across the grounds. They have yellow life jackets on and are holding on to rings around a rope.

They are surrounded by grownups (a funny word). The children chirrup and look blankly around while being led around.

I go back to my reverie and when I look back one of them has somehow shed the yellow life jacket. Another grownup points this out in passing to one

of the minders (another funny) who scuttles back to get it while clamping on to one of the little ones. Elsewhere on the grounds are

a number of people taking pictures of themselves (not funny). The one who broke out of the uniform looks blithely on. I stir slightly with a glimmer for this ones prospects.

Little ones it is a good life innit bouncing between a nap and a frolic to a meal and back.

But before you know it they get ya roped and tethered. You have provided Inspiration just now. Luck and Hold. Don't let the multiple kisses of institutional mort consume you -

family-school-career-obligations-upkeep more-repeat... Throw that yoke off!... you are gifted golden just now child ... just now

Ahhh if only it can remain eternally unvarnished...

if only...

Ah hang in there--

Thanks for the lift kid

Put In Place Out of Place

I have been shut down occasionally vis a vis my mutterances on the street corner and while attempting movement on the frenetic city sidewalks

I like to do it in order to sort of clear a path and in order

to facilitate and free up navigation-

at times I'll say "I gotta do a little bit a that swivel and swerve" - or as I zig and zag out a maneuver - " just the slip n slide" whilst moving and weaving thru the throngs

Other times I'll emit a bit of a shriek

Or

Announce constructive critiques regarding their aptitude for city walking like

"Another dolt - doing the diagonal "! - admonishing the herd - "I am begging for mercy "! "good heavens - cease and disperse the cluster "!

Their compass clearly needing alignment (my god do they drive like this?) -

Must make sure that shit is correct! I am trying to move freely goddamnit!

"I gotta circumnavigate stone agony"! ... "Becomes imperative "!!

Perhaps I'll be clogged by a stroller

"Nightmare in perpetuity "!

A Yammerer on the phone AND a stroller-

"You know they're out to torture"!!

Then there are the odd times in which I need to be schooled -

One time I was loudly griping about a construction obstruction (it is all over and everywhere) and a yob kinda bloke said " its NY - Stop complaining"...

I readily complied

Another time I was wading through a crowd announcing "I know my babies ain't shy" whereof a charming lass turned to me and demurred "How do you know I'm not shy?"

I fluttered - gurgled some kind of Non-sequiter before feathering and loping off.

Well perhaps I'm not a confrontational sort but there you have it

just trying...trying to move along.

All that that implies (or Nothing)

The soothe of the train ride is riffled by a

variety of violative factors

Flash of green rolls by yet I am being mashed

by the thick set creature beside me who is on the natch

babbling the good buddy inane on/in

the cell/plague instrument of torture.

Meanwhile a business person (human)? directly behind discusses daily dealings and frenzied negotiations in an unnecessarily high volume tone

whilst swarming families tumble by in likewise fashion ...

These activities are ceaseless with

nary a pause for the sweetness of silence

nor for the simple stillness of life's ease and oxygen

It beggars to ask.... What is this?? Just .... what is ... this.... Lunacy Unleashed!!!

Delicacy has gone the way of the Dodo &

the sum total of these myriad abrasions, to use a bit of yesteryear parlance is

"harshing my mellow ".

I wonder if it wouldn't be nice if the rippling currents of the passing long island sound rose and swallowed these bargain basement beings wholesale (a grand sweeping flush)

I sit thru it and attempt endurance -

(resilience seems to be such a mandate)

but really

how do they endure putting those uniforms on every day/ why do they /not hear/themselves/

Mercy

it may be time to get some distance from the Northeast - also beggaring the why is there such a premium on breeding when the overriding qualitative results are as such.

I feel duly necessitated to git away

but already spend most time with myself and at times find that to gruel as well.

What can the plan possibly be -Some humps tryta figgerit - most prolly do not .. so .. what?

       Mercy

meanwhile

      it's

         these

beings ?

They identify as human but seemingly lack the wherewithal of humane.

shit..

shit. breathe. repeat. until. full. stop

A Slipping Glimpse

man I was slight of stature but big in mouth - a wee one

of maybe six and hanging with some bigger neighbor

boys in their kitchen enjoying a repast of

devil dogs.. something was said and

I put in what I thought was an astute observation which

the oldest boy took with considerable abrupt umbrage - time was slow but we

were fast! - there was some bobbing

and weaving around the table..

I hurled myself out the front door and

hurtled down and around the corner

I did not get far before the back of my shirt was

clenched and I received a quick flurry of sharp shots to the head

and for the piece de resistance a mother of a charley horse that had me

writhing and crying on the ground (there was quite the contusion for some days after)

I got up and hobbled after them choking that I was gonna tell my father and

emphasized with a heaving wrack

that he was going to punch them (unfortunately I may have squeaked on "punch")

they laughed and my brutalizer said "your old man don't even live with you"

we walked back around the corner

them laughing me crying

I don't even remember what I said (ahhh words..-- whatcanya say?) that sparked the savagery

just the chase and punishment

however

the notion occurred and most assuredly reiterates down the long line

that social settings can be rather fraught with tetch

it's the best

he was pouring at the happening and usually there is a fair amount of disdain for the enthusiasts

who like to sidle up to sample the snacks, libations and what have you goodies.

he was a wisp of fair blond - a hippy kid.

he asked me if I would like him to crack my can of brew

I told him that this was not necessary

I looked at some stuff and listened to some other stuff

trying to maintain a bit of elbow room

while the crowds swirled and yammered

biding some time before refill and then I went back for another and he

cracked this one for me and said "cheers"

I drank it down and went for a walk down the street

I did not want to appear to be too gluttonous so I gave it some minutes

when I resurfaced in the crowded room and foraged thru the groups back to my man

he smiled and said "I grabbed this one at the bottom so that its chilled and now it needs to be shotgunned".

I laughed and retorted with double thumbs up

Impressed that this cat accurately assessed my quench and provided a

responsive and congenial atmosphere in one that can be rather unpleasant and clannish

my man had it

and I salute him for it

the damn hippy dippy

had it

kindness

©Copyright Tom Pennacchini

All Rights Reserved

Portsmouth Poetry is proud to publish the work of Tom Pennacchini. Publication on an open, non-profit website does not allow free use or reproduction. These poems are his exclusive property and if you wish to use or reproduce any of the poems you must obtain his permission.  We would be happy to direct any enquiries to Tom.

Teaching English at Friendship House